The curtains stream in light from the setting sun, selectively; the weaker ones fading away while the intense ones forcing their way in through the filters. Light illuminates the mess of a room, and his face, as he sits staring out of the only window there is.
Funnily enough, today no soul on earth barged into his room as soon as he sat to do something productive. This was because he hardly did anything apart from sleeping and doing nothing. He had just woken up from a cursed sleep which was not meant to be; a sleep which had eaten into all the time which was meant for the completion of the long-overdue project. The disturbed sleep was anything but a power-nap; it had already sapped him of the energy he needed to go on further with the humongous amount of tasks for which the deadlines were either over or were distressingly close.
The setting sun and a totally blank mind led way to an introspection of his life through the years.
(As a piece of background information, he is currently a third year engineering undergraduate. That's it. The name of the college, his hometown, all of this will generate preconceived notions in the reader's head. )
His first year, as a freshman. Heehee. All the bachpan-wale din. When he learned how to bunk lectures selectively. When he learnt that sleeping in class and not paying attention at all and gazing at the pretty girls were normal desirable things to do. When he had only started knowing the people and places around him; the wingmates, the classmates, the professors, the outcasts, the padhakus, the friend-in-need, the hot chicks, the nerdy girls, the canteen wale and xerox shop wale bhaiyyas, the jugaad person for everything, the illustrious seniors, and so on. When all his time was spent thinking of the infinite possibilities that lay ahead of him, and just to not let it sound cliched, it only meant contemplating what to do during the weekends, watch a movie, go out with friends, go for a trip or just while around time doing anything he liked; actually he had no idea what he 'actually' liked doing but that was what he had all the free time for; to discover what he had to do with the rest of his life. He dabbled hands in music, dance, debating, quizzing...everything; a li'l bit of this,, a li'l bit of that. And life went on. Without a steering force, just the way he liked it. He often used to wonder, why think so much on what to do and what not to do. In fact, the concept of 'doing' itself repulsed him. An egotistical idea it was. People just wanted to harp on their achievements, their 'doings' so were a source of narcissistic pleasure.
The year went by. School rules, parents' ideologies which he followed to the letter (or pretended to), societal norms, all of them were unlearnt, in a new place, where he had the freedom to live sans any rules. However, something prevented him from becoming happy. He definitely seemed to be perfectly fine with life, but deep down there was this feeling of unrest and dissatisfaction, something which he usually never experienced when he lived without thinking too much that all of what he did was something which someone in the world wanted him to do. And though this may sound a bit of an exaggeration, he realized that a year ago, he ate when he was supposed to, he slept when it was the 'right' time to, he studied because he had to achieve because that would make everybody respect him, and so he never gave much thought to....anything. And now when he did, he couldn't reach to a concrete explanation of anything.
Anamika Agrawal
1st year student of Indian Institue of Technology Bombay.